Stoney Creek United Church

At Stoney Creek United Church, we are committed to the credo that it takes a village to raise a child. Nowhere is this more evident than during one of our baptism services.

THE BAPTISM OF INFANTS AND CHILDREN

AT STONEY CREEK UNITED CHURCH

As the new minister of Stoney Creek United, I’ve created this document for the guidance of parents and others thinking about the baptism of children. It is my hope that you will find it a helpful way to begin your preparation for this important step. I will be happy to discuss any questions with you.

At our church, baptism usually begins with your first contact with the minister, who will want to meet with you at some point before the baptism. He’ll discuss the meaning and history of baptism, and the way we do it in this church (every church is different). When you feel you are ready to make baptismal vows on behalf of your child, you are asked to sign the "Covenant of Baptism", fill out the information sheet, and return these to me. I will submit your application for baptism to the Worship Committee of the congregation, which has the final say. This is mostly to keep a paper trail so we don’t end up planning too much for any one service. Please note: the date of the baptism is not guaranteed until the Worship Committee has given its approval. The whole process, from your first phone call to the baptism, will likely take somewhere between a few weeks and a few months, depending on the time of year and how easily we can schedule meetings.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your child. As Christians, we believe that the love of God has always surrounded your child and continues to be available for his/her whole life, through whatever joys and sorrows life brings. Your child is a child of God,created in God's image: This is just as true before baptism as after. Some people used to think that a child couldn't be "saved" or "go to heaven" if she/he wasn't baptized. Some people used to think of baptism as a kind of "insurance policy", a little extra measure of protection against sickness or accident. In the United Church, we don’t believe any of these things: We believe that God wants the fullness of life for your child whether she/he is baptized or not. This is the first and most important thing to

remember.

WHY HAVE YOUR CHILD BAPTIZED?

Baptism is a sacrament of the Christian Church, which means it is something very complicated - and very simple! A baptism is something we do to remember the life of Jesus. He was baptized and so we are baptized. It’s also a reminder that God washes us clean of our sins out of love and understanding. Water has always been an important symbol of new life. In the Book of Genesis, the world is created out of the "waters of the

deep". In the theory of evolution, all life begins in the oceans. In human biology, life comes to birth in the amniotic waters of our mother's womb. In baptism, we are born into a new life in the church community and in the Christian faith.

Baptism makes us members of the church in a very limited way. We don’t expect babies to vote, but they are part of the family and deserve our care and protection. As they grow, we try to teach them how to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, sharing his mission to bring justice and peace to the world, and sharing his suffering, too. In baptism, the church becomes a partner with the parents, in the upbringing of the child in the Christian faith. We’re kind of like a kindly aunt or uncle that you can trust for support, nurture, and a little help along the way. However, at the same time, you are promising to be part of that Christian upbringing, and that means supporting the church in its work with your time, talents and money. When an adult is baptized, she/he decides, after a time of study and reflection, to join Christ's people, but your child cannot decide for him or herself. Indeed, your child will hardly be aware of what is going on. This means that your faith and your commitment to the Church is even more important so it is crucial that you think about what you really want from baptism, and what you are willing to give in return. You don’t have to be saint or a theologian to have a child baptized, and you will have lots of support from the congregation and from the grace of God, but it is a serious responsibility, and the minister will want to talk to you about what you think about all of these things.

THE SERVICE OF BAPTISM

In the United Church, the whole congregation acts as the sponsors in baptism, so you do not need to have "godparents" for your child, although you may if you wish. Because the whole congregation plays such an important part, baptism normally take place during the regular public worship on Sunday morning. I usually do baptisms early in the service, just after the opening prayers. The Baptism part of the service goes like this: After some comments about the meaning of baptism, the minister will ask you if it is your intention to act on behalf of your child and to bring him/her up in the Christian faith. You will be asked to reaffirm your own baptismal faith in a series of vows similar to the ones you would make at confirmation. The whole congregation is then asked to promise to support you with their faith. After a prayer of thanksgiving, the child is baptized with water in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit while I make the sign of the cross with water on their forehead, as a mark of being part of Christ's people, then the child is introduced formally to the congregation.

There is another short prayer, and you will be presented with a certificate and a candle and then may return to your seat. By the way, the water I use in baptism comes from the Jordan River in Israel. The same river Jesus was baptized in.

SOME COMMON QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS

1. I want to have my child baptized and I am prepared to make the vows, but my wife/husband isn't. Is that OK?

That can be all right, as long as your spouse will at least support you in your wish to raise the child in the church. You can make the promises on your own, or your partner might like to stand up front with you without making the vows, as a sign of support for you, or you might like to have a friend or sponsor who will help you be faithful to your vows.

2. My husband/wife is from a different church or religion. Is that a problem?

No problem, but something to think about. Baptism is one sacrament we share with all Christian churches. Perhaps you should find out from both churches what baptism involves in each. The most important question might be, which church will you feel most comfortable in attending and taking part in, so your child can see what church and faith are all about.

3. Actually, we are not too sure about baptism. It's my folks/in-laws that keep pushing us. Any advice?

It's important to remember that you are the ones who have to make the vows. Your folks' opinion is important, and should be listened to, but ultimately it is your responsibility as parents to decide how you want to raise your children. If you are not sure about baptism, then don't do it until you are. Feel free to pass on these notes to your folks to read and they are welcome to talk to me if they like.

4. We don't go to church, but we want to have our child baptized. Does it matter?

Why would you want your child to do something that you do not want to do yourself? Being baptized in the United Church means that you are welcomed into the community. But if you have no interest in being part of the community, having your child baptized doesn't seem to make much sense. Why not try coming to church for a while and see if this is really what you want for your family. When you see what we are like and what we are about, you might find you like it and us.

5. How come the churches have got so tough about baptism all of a sudden? Didn't everybody used to just get their children baptized without all this fuss?

Yes, they did, but pretty well everybody went to church, too, and that just is not true anymore. It's not so much that the church has become tougher, as it is that society has distanced itself from the church. It is really hard to make a solemn vow before God to bring your child up in the church and yet not be involved yourself. If you are not interested in being a part of the church, it would be better to wait and let your child decide later for him or her self.

6. Is there any alternative to baptism that we could explore until we are sure of what we want to do?

Yes, there is! The United Church has a ceremony called "dedication" for infants. It is a chance for the parents to celebrate the birth of a child with a ceremony in the church and a family party. The parents are not asked to make the same kind of vows about participation in the church, and the congregation makes no vows on behalf of the child. We do not use water in this ceremony but we use oil as a blessing and a hope for prosperity and joy throughout the child's life. If you are interested in this option, please talk to me and I will tell you more about it.

BAPTISMAL COVENANT

These are the vows you will be asked to make at the baptism of your child:

Do you believe in God and God's love?

"I do"

Do you believe that God's will for us is made known in Jesus of Nazareth, who lived and died and lived again?

"I do"

Do you believe that God's Spirit is active in the world to direct and strengthen you?

"I do"

Will you do your best to provide a Christian home for you child and will you encourage your child to seek confirmation at an appropriate age?

"I will, God being my helper"

In order to begin the process to have your child baptized, please complete the attached downloadable form and then see the Minister